When Your Love Is Not Accepted

woman with umbrella after breakup

You’ve heard that love is the key that opens all locks. So what happens when you encounter a door that won’t open, even if you’re turning the key with all the love you have?

There are times when we love someone so deeply, so completely, and yet they are unwilling—or unable—to reciprocate. So should we hang around and “hold the space” for them until they come to their senses and love us back? Or should we move on in hopes of finding someone else?

That depends on how you feel about yourself. Here’s why:

Every relationship is a reflection of you.  Every person that you are aware of, is giving you the chance to decide who you are in that set of circumstances. They come to you, and you to them, for the opportunity to co-create within this holographic game, via collaborative teamwork.

Not only are you choosing situations that mutually explore your personal themes, but you also get to paint on the Universal canvas, with any brush that you like, with others at your side.

So how you feel about yourself in terms of the relationship you’re experiencing, will determine what you will glean from your partnership.  If you’re awake, you’ll most likely deal with a situation like this in a very different manner than when you’re still asleep.

 

Let’s view an “unhappy” ending from two perspectives: Asleep, and Awake.

 

Karen loves Steve with all her heart.  She gives everything she has, and trusts that everything will work out, aiming for a loving, lifetime partnership.

But Steve isn’t all that into her. She’s good to have around, because she pays her bills, cooks for him, and does laundry every Saturday.  He dreams of greener pastures, with more freedom, where he doesn’t have to talk about his feelings all the time.

Eventually, Karen decides it’s time to move on; she’s exhausted from giving and giving, and receiving nothing in return. She’s heartbroken, worn out, and wildly distrustful of the Universe–with all its talk of “faith,” “belief” and “knowing.”

The time after the breakup is volatile for Karen, with feelings spouting like chronic volcanic eruptions, on both ends of the spectrum. As she heals, she goes within, maybe with a little help from red wine and long days parked in bed.  She processes her feelings, and, after awhile, she emerges back into society…single and opinionated.

 

If Karen is still asleep, she will probably re-enter society with a vengeance.

She’s sick of men and their animalistic behavior. She is worth more than that, and she’ll find someone who will appreciate her. She’ll be looking at the world through glasses tinted with bitterness (“that asshole doesn’t deserve me”), vindication (“He is HER problem now”) and cynicism (“Why bother? Things always end badly anyway”).

Blame will most likely be cast on her partner for his failure to return the love that she gave so freely.

 

If Karen is awake, she will re-enter society with humility.

Most likely, Awake Karen spent her breakup time largely focusing on themes centered around the relationship, rather than the shortcomings of her partner.

Areas of expansion may include self-worth (“why am I unlovable?”), trust (“why would the Universe do this to me?”), or independence (“why can’t I be alone?”).

Awake Karen would see the theme behind the co-creation, and recognize the growth she’ll experience from it.  She might suffer in the process or she might not, depending on how much accountability she bears for her performance in the show. Yet she knows that, ultimately, the relationship served everyone involved, and she appreciates the time they spent together.

So why enter into a relationship at all, if it can “fail” even though we gave it our all?

 

There are times when we, as humans, don’t see the whole picture just yet.

It’s hidden from us, BY us, in order to provide the unknowns necessary for choices to be made. It’s certainly so in the game of love, where expectations whirl like leaves in the autumn wind.

And people grow at different paces, determined by their level of focus, willingness to look within and stabilize themselves from earlier failures, traumas and disappointments.

Self-observation raises your frequency; and we attract those of similar vibration to our own.  If frequencies vary too greatly in a partnership, the relationship will end, to make room for a more-aligned one. It’s always a gift, even if it doesn’t feel like one just after the process.

So hold onto your key, and use it to unlock some doors in your own self.  The more doors you open from within, the more doors will be open out there, in your physical world.

That is true love.

 

Kimberly

author: Kimberly

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